Inner Alchemy, the Anima and the Sacred Feminine
This article has been in the making for some time. It is a personal exploration of the feminine soul development in a man’s psyche. Whilst it may be of interest to women in a number of ways the approach is very much centred around male development. I intend to write a similar article for women in the coming months. Whilst including some theoretical concepts, I am increasingly inspired to write more from lived experience, a personal tapestry melded together with a theoretical background. So with this, let us begin.
During 2020, after 10 years of embodied inner work and practice, I was gifted a profound series of experiences, coinciding with significant Uranus transits in my astrological chart, that lasted the course of a year or so. They commenced initially with a strong but slow Kundalini experience that lasted around a month. Every night I would enter meditation and track the subtle energy in my body. The feelings were strong and my dreams mirrored the transpersonal impact of this experience. Every night was a new dream revealing the divine operation in play. A powerful channel had opened within me and little did I know what was to unfold over the course of the coming year. I won’t go into too much details as it detracts from the point of this article however by the end of the year I thought a semi-permanent state of Effortless Being had been anchored in my being. In a way it was and is still ever present however what transpired over the following period of time was in fact a new found descent into the depths. It was now time to pick up the pieces that were left behind and return them Home.
So how and why is this experience relevant to assimilating our feminine nature? The integration of the feminine in a man’s life occurs in stages, aspects which I had worked on beforehand such as separation from the mother, cultivating my feelings and so on. However this experience is important because after the visitation from Spirit, I now had a new found consciousness in which to connect and relate to a more rounded and mystically oriented aspect of my feminine soul, thus opening up a new chapter in her development. It is the fruits of this recent process that I wish to share so that the ‘keys’ may be distributed for like minded souls embarking on, or preparing for, a similar journey. But first a bit of theory, for without this I would not have had any markers along the way.
By no means did CG Jung have all the answers, but he did pave a way for the modern Western Mind to enter the abyss and not be overwhelmed by it. His work is of importance as he attempted in a strictly objective manner to map and understand the dynamics of the psyche through the lens of dreams with reference to mythology, alchemy, fairy tales and so on. Dreams as we know tell a very interesting tale and if we have the eyes to see and the ears to hear, then we are rewarded with insights of a substantial nature.
According to Jung the conscious biological gender of the individual will determine the gender of the unconscious soul. So if we are a man in this life our internal and unconscious counterpart will be feminine in nature. Visa Versa in the case for Woman. He called these two counterparts the ‘anima’ and the ‘animus’, roughly translated to soul and spirit. For the purpose of this article I will elaborate the experience of the anima only as it pertains directly to men.
Anima is an archetypal force. She is flavoured, throughout her stages of development, by our earthly human mother and absorbs many of her attributes and tendencies. For example this may be seen in the tendency to choose a partner based on this conditioning or as is often the case with many men, choose the polar opposite and leave home for good. The anima is the part in men that expresses the feminine qualities such as feeling, somatic awareness, embodied life force, and wisdom of life processes. She is an autonomous agent who undergoes development just as an ordinary person does with the caveat that she will only develop if the conscious individual forms a relationship with her, otherwise she may remain infantile in the man’s psyche and continue to express herself via endless projections. She is by nature unconscious, residing in the darkness, and requires the light of consciousness to illuminate her path and assist in her mission. She projects her nature out into the external world and determines many of the decisions we make, whether we are conscious of this or not. She is initially tied to the man’s masculine shadow and in order to free her one must also confront the darkness within their own masculinity.
Jung outlined four essential phases to her development, which if a man’s development proceeds in a healthy manner, will unfold into consciousness as he grows older. He organised this development into a quaternity, meaning a fourfold unity and completeness. Quoted by Jung is the ‘Axiom of Maria’, a precept in alchemy attributed to a 3rd Century Alchemist Maria Prophetissa that states: “One becomes two, two becomes three, and out of the third comes the One as the fourth”. Hence we start off as part of the totality, akin to a new born child, undergo differentiation and once more return to Totality but this time as a conscious individuated being. Whilst reading the information below also imagine moving slowly up the chakra system from the base of the spine to the top of the head.
The four stages are as follows:
Eve from the Garden of Eden – here the feminine nature is still linked to the totality, she is undifferentiated in her consciousness. Eve in this context represents the purely biological and material feminine form, as something only to be fertilised. The anima here is still entangled with the mother imago and the man has not yet broken free of his mother-complex. For those interested in Gnosticism, this concept of Eve is very different from the Gnostic Eve who is more akin to the Sophia image below.
Helen of Troy – Also imaged by me as Aphrodite or Athena. She holds the Maiden energy. She is now developing an independent spirit but is still a personification of the collective psyche and the conditioning therein. She is a sexualised ideal and operating from the lower energetic centres. The sexual embodiment is the prerequisite to enabling the procreative tendency, which in a psychological sense eventuates in her continued development as mother.
The Virgin Mary – Anima is now Mother to the divine child. Her purpose is starting to come into fulfilment, she is gaining considerably in wisdom. This manifests in the man as religious sentiment and a capacity for stronger and more stable relationships with significant others. A realisation that the feminine serves more than the fulfilment of pleasure and holds keys to the deeper mysteries. Also expressed as the Black Madonna or the Earth Mother, the aspect of the mother generally neglected by Christianity, which is a necessary compensatory image honouring more of the earth bound and darker tendencies within the mother archetype such as the ability to give life but also to take it away.
Divine Sophia – Anima now acts as guide and bridge to the man’s unconscious. She is Crone, the great wisdom that knows and understands the essence and meaning of life. She is both light and dark and grounds divine energy into the being of the individual, contributing directly to the union of Heaven and Earth. She is Holy Spirit and Divine Inspiration. She is the “One as the Fourth” as quoted above and completes the cycle. A man with this consciousness has a much higher sensitivity towards life and also a deepening interest and grounding in the spiritual mysteries.
Mid-2024 I was plunged deeply into the underworld. All my external ambitions were halted and I was guided to simply enable a death process to occur. A poignant parallel to this psychological death process is expressed in the Sumerian poem, The Descent of Inanna, that chronicles the journey of Inanna, who was a Queen of Heaven, descending from the sky realms down into the underworld to visit her widowed sister Ereshkigal, Queen of the Underworld and Death. She is eventually killed by her sister and impaled on a meat hook and left to rot for three days and three nights. The poem portrays the psychological and spiritual process of death and regeneration in relation to the Feminine. By making my way under, in active imaginations and meditation, I eventually came upon her and what commenced was a long series of meditations centred on bringing her back into the light of consciousness.
The meditation techniques I use originate in a few modalities (a post for a future blog), however the essential component is the ability to enter into altered states, where the movement of subtle energy is experienced and then to begin a dialogue with certain dream and/or imagination figures. As the dialogue unfolds so too does the subtle somatic experience. Psyche and Soma are in fact part of an inseparable unity. Therefore when transformation occurs both the subtle energy and the imaginative figures evolve in a simultaneous manner. During this period which lasted for several months, I would meditate daily for up to three hours. I mention this to highlight the commitment necessary to enable this sort of process to unfold. It requires consistency, patience, and above all else a will to initiate and facilitate one's own inner change.
So I began to talk to her...
Initially she was incredibly sexual and carnal, almost unbearably so. It seemed to me that following years of neglect she had become so desperate for deep communion that she resorted to utilising her sexual energy to gain my attention, but simultaneously she was attempting to fulfil her deeper more mysterious function. She then became more upset and started to express her rage and anger. Following this she started to become more vulnerable and open whilst still being inclined to sexual inter-connectedness. A dream that came to light around this time:
I am with a younger Asian male shadow figure, a white younger female, and a black African younger female. They were all from my youth and I recognise them. We are standing in a circle. I am opposite the male figure, to my left is the dark woman, and to the right the white woman. We are moving in a clockwise direction. As the energy begins to pick up I hear an old homosexual school teacher say “don’t do that here! It is not allowed.” We stop and disperse into the night.
Upon waking I knew this was important and I didn’t understand why the male homosexual teacher had interrupted something so important. I entered meditation and the meaning was revealed. I began by connecting to both female figures, feeling their expressive sexual energy. This was fine but when it came to the male shadow counterpart I froze. There was an unwillingness to connect to his energy. Then I realised that it was a belief system instilled in me from a young age that it is shameful and inappropriate to connect intimately with another man. When I realised this I then reached out and grabbed his phallus. When I did this an intense energy passed through my body and I felt profoundly invigorated and potent. The shadow figure then broke free and flew into the air, exclaiming how happy he was to be free of his burden. The burden being that he had to carry my un-integrated male potency, always being underdog and unacknowledged. This brought home the realisation that it is not enough to simply want to connect with the feminine within; we must also harness our male vigour and strength that is usually relegated to the unconscious as it is too powerful or aggressive for us to take responsibility for and harness. Another dream around this time:
I am in an office and there is a police officer questioning me, however I am not at all afraid. The dream then zooms into his crouch where he has a gun nearby. The tension builds. I then hear the trigger of a gun being pulled but it is empty and all I hear is a ‘click’.
This dream came as I was beginning to harness the male phallic potency in my active imaginations. I was realising at a rapid rate that instead of fearing my own castration and domination by these figures that I could actually turn it around and harness their power. It was liberating and since this dream I no longer have a latent subtle fear of authority figures. There were many dreams involved in this process however I have chosen only a select few.
So the anima image begins to open. I am plunged further into the primal waters from which we all come. The Asian shadow masculine figure begins to develop and he becomes older, not personally associated to me, and also a master in the arts of Taoist Alchemy as reflected in a dream. I take heed and follow the trail unfolding crumb by crumb. Anima eventually becomes Mother. She is recognised in her maidenhood and psychologically fertilised through my consciousness and can finally step into a deeper purpose and calling. She offers her milk as nectar and in turn is informed by the wise crone who councils her and directs her further along her developmental path, also reflected in my dreams. Then this dream:
I am out in nature, positioned on a ledge overlooking a forest. Two young girls are playing together. One white, one black. They are full of energy and have no trouble integrating with each other morphing together for periods of time. They feel like long lost friends who have finally found one another. Their mothers then arrive. They are both Medicine women. One white, one black. They perceive one another and begin to show each other the card they drew from their oracle card deck earlier that morning. Although having different decks, the images both show the white and the dark integrating into a wholeness and totality, akin to the Yin and Yang. They laugh at this synchronicity and embrace one another with joy and homecoming.
The feminine image within my being was certainly developing and coming into her wholeness. They were balanced in their darkness and light and they were also mature and of a more psychic orientation, dealing not only with motherhood but also with medicine. Whilst I was going through this I attempted to read information that would help me with the energetics of the process however I found little of use; even the Taoist energy work fell short as it prescribed a system of inquiry that was too rigid and alien to my highly differentiated imaginative quest. So I continued armed with the foreknowledge gleaned from the work of CG Jung and forged my own path.
Then came Sophia, Divine Wisdom. A dream portrayed a mature in age, very spiritually evolved woman whom I know and have a lot of respect towards and resembles closely the image of Sophia. However instead of portraying her in a positive fashion the dream presented her as being slightly elitist and un-grounded with a slight aversion to her wanting to share space with me. I woke from this dream and realised immediately that I had projected my Divine Wisdom onto this real person. The dream wisely made me feel at odds with the arrangement and thus I felt compelled to reclaim that which was inherently a part of me. She changed. She became the High Priestess as shown in the Tarot. She held Light and Dark equally. She was not sexually preoccupied however had the distinct ability to sublimate sexual energy into subtle energy. Meditation:
I feel the divine aspect of my Anima. She is seated below at the base of my spine. She has a cloak about her and a dignity that demands attention and respect. We connect. She asks me to channel energy from the divine Christ. As it enters from my Crown Chakra she begins to weave this energy and move it around my being accordingly. The energy becomes very strong and my internal channels open to an extent that I had not experienced for some time. The experience culminates with a total release and expansion into Totality and Effortless Being, feeling completely at ease in the Oneness.
I came to realise that she is indeed the bridge to my highest nature but also that she requires my participation to enable consciousness and light to enter the internal vessel. We are mutually co-dependant, inevitably resulting in a Mystical Union that facilitates the emergence of an awareness of Totality. The experience in 2020 was very important as it opened my channels to Divine Energy, however what has since occurred is the ability to consciously enter a similar experience but this time with more independence from the ‘saving grace’ of astrological benefactors. Thus becoming more self-sufficient and individuated in my own unique healing journey even during darker and harder phases of life. In a state of deep connectedness I then asked for a dream. The following came in the morning from my Wife who is a gifted Seer and also a Potter. I will leave the interpretation to your own intuitive imaginations:
We are in nature, connected to the Earth. I see Tim sitting under our favourite tree in the shade. As I approach I see him engrossed with some bowls on the ground in front of him. There are a stack of 5 pottery bowls nested within each other and another bigger 2 (also part of the set) sitting on the ground beside the others. The 7 bowls fitting inside of each other remind me of the Russian Matryoshka dolls that symbolise the matriarchal ancestral lineage. The shape of the pottery bowls remind me of Tibetan singing bowls, very full and round like a moon.
There is some tension in the air between Tim and the bowls as it is a significant moment of meeting and re-uniting with each other, which evokes a lot of feeling. These bowls are a part of Tim but they have been hidden from him until this moment where he is ready to unearth them like treasure and reclaim them. I marvel at the beauty of the bowls with Tim and hold the smallest bowl to have a closer look. It feels alive with power in my hand, like a song of joy. They are a neutral ochre white tone, but across all of the bowls is a stroke of glaze in gold dapple. I hold the bowl in the sunshine and realise the gold is pure yellow gold which is radiant. They are truly beautiful and so precious. I carefully put the smallest bowl down on the ground with the others and leave them to Tim for him to handle and decide what to now do with them.
I awaken from the dream feeling the healing powers of the song of the bowls and it is life enriching and joyful…
This process is age old and unending both collectively and individually. I emphasis individually because the process is akin to a spiral, ever deepening and ever widening. It has occurred to all the mystics in our history via their own cultural and spiritual heritages. I have found the post-Jungians, whilst some are exceptional, most unfortunately fall short of this experiential reality. They remain too fixed in the mind. However why I hope this post will be a valuable exposition is that it will explain a seemingly complex process in a way that the western mind can understand and grapple with. The process is in fact akin to many of the well known Eastern practices, with the exception, and important distinction, that they instead relate closely to the Western imagination. The feminine nature in man is real and she is yearning for union with the Divine, it is just a matter of identifying our approach and then dedicating ourselves to the task.
To end I feel it is a responsibility to put forward caution. This process is not for the faint of heart and requires a certain amount of development to conduct in an integrated and conscious manner. Premature activation of these images, and also of the Kundalini through use of substance, etc, is possible but I do not recommend it. It is not my intention to deter you either from this sort of work, rather to provide you with further tools and conceptual understandings in which to grapple with and undertake this process for yourself or with the guidance of another. But a significant amount of ground work is required before the benefits may be integrated in a wholesome way, which includes an awakening of the energetic body, whether gradual or immediate, that will activate your capacity to feel the circulation of these energies in a more subtle yet substantial way. It cannot be forced. With patience, steadfast dedication, and a capacity to respond to your higher guidance, you will then be able to make your way through these domains. By the time you are ready for this work you will have a clear understanding of which modality and spiritual heritage to follow and use. Be it more from a Taoist perspective or otherwise. My hope is that the information put forth will help inform how the process can work from a Jungian perspective coupled with the embodied practice of meditation and energy work. The more information we have available, the more we can formulate an understanding of the process and move forwards with a modicum of certainty into uncharted territories.
As we all begin to awaken let us connect, share, and assist one another and elevate each other to our higher dimensional awareness.
Blessings,
Tim
Image: Copyright Adam McLean 1997-2011 - www.alchemywebsite.com